In ancient cultures, the power of the story was intrinsic to the individual and the community. Stories were the vehicle for transmitting historical knowledge from one generation to the next. Each generation added information, accurate or inaccurate as the case maybe, to the collective story of the group. Today there are several large projects in motion trying to capture the oral traditions of native peoples before this medium disappears forever.

In modern culture, we have come to think of storytellers as the authors, playwrights and moviemakers. These are, indeed, an important type of storyteller. Their craft is to tell stories about universal archetypes and characters with which we can relate. Unfortunately, we’ve lost our individual connection with our story and how our story interrelates with the world around us.

We are ALL storytellers. Every action, inaction, belief, thought, and emotion serves to support our individual story in some way. They also serve to tell us where we fit in collectively with the world around us. This is true whether or not we EVER speak our story to another living soul.

Successful stories rely on a number of components. Internal consistency defines much of the success or failure in any story we tell. The more internally consistent our stories are, the more likely we are to achieve our final desired outcome. Let me give you an example from my own life.

I used to be a heavy smoker. I averaged 2 packs a day with surges up to 4 packs when under stress. There were days I would literally spend each waking moment lighting one cigarette off the butt of my last. The story I told myself about smoking was very simple. I smoked to relax. I smoked to concentrate. I smoked because it tasted good especially with a cup of coffee. I smoked because my friends did. I smoked because I got to take a break from work. I smoked because I looked good smoking.

When I decided to quit, I realized that I would need to make a number of changes. What I didn’t understand at the time revolved around how I would have to change my story to become someone who used to smoke. Here’s how I did it.

I started by changing how I identified with smoking. One of my lines became, “The man I want to become isn’t a smoker.” I told the friends and family that I had in my life at the time that would support my changing about this change in identity and asked for their support. Every single one agreed. When I finally reached the day when I quit smoking, there were challenging minutes and I had to give myself permission to do things that I had let myself do as a smoker, like take breaks from working to simply go breathe, relax and refocus on the tasks at hand.

In short, I had to change my story, internally and externally, with the help of my supporting cast.